For centuries, an enormous clay statue of the Buddha sat in Wat Traimit, a temple in Thailand. Its origins unknown, it had become something of a fixture. The temple monks would tend the statue, fixing cracks appearing in the clay as it dried in the heat. One day a monk was repairing a particularly [...]
Therapy is often touted as a ‘safe place’, when, in fact, it is anything but that. It is a place where we surface our demons, dig deep into our neuroses, explore our habit patterns and challenge belief systems that often do more harm than good. Therapy is a place where we learn to be [...]
Male initiation in post-modern culture To our peril, it often seems like men have two speeds—neutral and pissed. This circumstance is consequent to the simple fact that men are no longer taught to access their emotions. The empowered, mature masculine has given way to what we might think of as a passive adolescence. [...]
8 essential aspects of relationship and self-care There is a story about a young monk who was sent down into the city from his mountain temple by his master to experience the world. Almost as soon as he arrived, he found it difficult to remain centered, and almost impossible to meditate. He would sit [...]
Social isolation is one of the markers for depression. Sometimes when we are witness to someone retreating for a time, whether for a few hours, a few days or even longer, it's not a time for concern or frustration, but for holding space. Social isolation in the form of retreat and social respite can be [...]
A Buddhist monk stops at a newsstand to purchase a newspaper. He hands the proprietor a $10 bill. After waiting a moment, he says, "May I have my change?" to which the vendor answers, "Change comes from within." For our external world to change there must first be a shift in our interior landscape. I [...]
Relationship style comes in several different distinct flavors -- independent, dependent, interdependent, co-dependent and counter-dependent. Bearing this in mind, if we consider one of the prime tenets of forensic psychology - the way that people do one thing is the way that they do everything - we can begin to reveal the consistencies, and, by [...]
In the realm of social psychology and psychodynamics, when we discuss chronic lateness, we typically do so in reference to passive-aggression and control. An individual who is passive-aggressive is, by definition, arrogant...and arrogance is bred, not by a sense of personal power, but, rather, through fear and insecurity. In a previous post, I mentioned a [...]
One of the more difficult challenges facing those confronted with addiction has to do with the social consequences that they create for themselves by virtue of that addiction. Parents, spouses, employers and significant others are faced with a relationship that engenders a constant potential for relapse and, in the face of that, they tend to [...]
Lao Tzu said that the first step on the path to wisdom is the ability to say, "I don't know." We like to believe that we know a great many things. We understand far fewer of those things, however, than we might like to admit. Knowing a thing and owning it - truly being invested [...]
